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As a Daughter of Aphrodite, one of the gifts you bring to sexual relationships (and all of life) is sensuality and abandon. Pleasure is not a luxury—it's lifeblood for you. You love to experience pleasure AND to give it. You tend to fall in love quickly and to naturally adore your lovers. You are a garden of delight, and you love to love. The trick is to choose wisely. Your nature is to adore and to bring pleasure, but when you turn your gift for adoration towards partners who are not worthy of it, it can lead you into heartbreak and devastation.


Your gifts as a lover are passion (often unbridled), adoration, and a natural, luscious sensuality.



There are three core challenges to this archetype of lover.


You love the state of adoration so very much that you may often find yourself adoring and giving everything for lovers who simply are not worthy, have not earned the privilege of receiving this level of devotion from you, or who don't have the capacity to truly value what it is you give. This can leave you invested in sexual relationships that are ultimately depleting and dissatisfying.  

The act of loving, of taking a lover, of making love, is such a necessary and natural part of your expression as a woman, and such a core expression of what you most value in life, that you may find yourself weaving fantasies about who is in front of you, rather than seeing them for who they are. This can catch you in a trap of your own design...ending up devastated or disillusioned when the truth of who your lover is finally dawns on you (their values, emotional maturity, what they're really available for, how trustworthy they are, or are not).

Sometimes you're misunderstood. Sensuality and sexuality are natural and exuberant aspects of your personal expression, but just because sexuality is easy and natural to you doesn't mean that it is meaningless, casual, or reckless. You are devotional and adoring in your sensuality and you feel deeply, you yearn for union and for real love, and you are very hurt by lovers who "dip into your well," enjoying the luscious fruits of your being, then just dip out, as if you haven't just shared a precious gift with them, one that deserves acknowledgment, gratitude, and respect. You are not necessarily a promiscuous person, though you may be perceived that way, and approached that way at times, or understood as a woman who regards sex as casual, emotionally neutral. This is not the truth of your nature—making love is a form of celebration for you, an experience of adoration that opens your heart and is as vulnerable as it is delicious.




There are three essential keys to thriving as this archetype of lover, and cultivating sexual intimacies that are emotionally safe, satisfying, and honoring for you.


SLOW DOWN. This may not be natural at first. When the spark is there, and the yum starts flowing, your inclination is usually to abandon yourself to it. It's just so good! But...if you can slow your roll, you can take care of your needs for emotional safety as well as your need to give way to the lusciousness of life. A good way to do this, for a woman like you who thrives on pleasure and the beautiful romance of intimacy, is to slow things down not as a way of going stagnant, but as a way of savoring, luxuriating in the unfolding sensuality of the connection. Give it time to show itself for what it is before you open the entire treasure house of your being, your body, your adoration for someone else. Let them prove to you, yes prove to you, that they really value what you give, before you just pour it all out. This will protect you from the extreme swings between ecstasy and devastation that are often the habit of this archetype, and lead you into loverships that are more secure, stable, and ultimately far more pleasurable, far more passionate.  ​

CHOOSE WISELY. See if you can tolerate the burn of a good hard look at your own tendency to fantasize your lovers into something they are not, in order to meet your own needs for romance, connection, and love. You can only choose wisely if you allow the person in front of you to be who they are, in all of the gorgeous potential that you see, and in all of the possible flaws and deal-breaking aspects of character that may be present in them. Is this initial connection, the initial chemistry, however epic, something that they and you can live into, or is it just a passing moment that should be celebrated but then released for the momentary grace that it was? Is it really that amazing to be someone's secret succulent lover, while they're willing to lie to their wife and keep you held in the background of their lives? Is the sentimentality of this sweet-eyed, romantic, heavenly lover actually backed up by action? Poetry of love and adoration is epic, but it's not enough to take you fully into your capacity for pleasure and love. Sentimentality needs to be backed up by choices, actions, the solid evidence that your lover doesn't just talk about it—they live it. Just like you.

KEEP YOUR CUP FULL. Sensuality, lovemaking, romance, the luscious beauty of yearning and being adored, and adoring...these are not just blessings to be grateful for. For you, these are necessary expressions of your soul and your female nature. Love is your art form, and you are genius at it. You will wither and dry up if you do not have enough passion, abandon, and connection to the juice of life. This can make it so that, if you are not filling your own cup on a regular basis, a desperation will take root in you, and will lead you into sexual intimacies that are decidedly a compromise, or even disastrous. Know how you keep your own cup full, how you keep your sensual energy moving and alive in you, and DO THOSE THINGS with the same level of devotion and adoration you tend to pour into a relationship. Dance, massage, art, communion with nature, travel, deep feminine practices that cultivate your inner fire, singing, even prayer. You need to touch rapture and the sensual beauty of life on a regular basis, but it does not need to be with a lover in order to be truly fulfilling. Learning this, living this, will free you to choose lovers that can fully meet you, open you, and care for you, rather than those lovers that are willing to enjoy you, but not capable of showing up for the care and reciprocity that allow you to truly thrive.  

If all this makes sense to you and you want to take it further...



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There are six archetypes represented in this quiz, and all of us touch into many, if not all of them.  

I created the course "Sacred Needs and Your Sexual Archetypes" to take this topic deeper and to take women into all six archetypes.  It is available for FREE and exclusively with a pre-order of my first book, which is all about clearing past lovers.

See below for more information!

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