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The Priestess Lover touches the sacred in lovemaking. As a Priestess Lover, lovemaking is a form of worship, even in its most explicitly erotic expressions. You have often touched states of ecstasy, soul-mate connections, you may even say experiences of "God." You have often been absolutely devastated by the breaking apart or ending of these experiences. Your highest states of lovemaking are extraordinary and very much outside of the narrow definitions of what "sex" is. You often experience that a presence much bigger than you or your lover is present. The challenge for you is to navigate the tension between the beauty you experience and the reality of all the gritty, vulnerable complexity that sexual intimacy creates; your ability to see the soul (or the highest) in your lover, and the flawed reality of who your lover really is. Priestess Lovers often find themselves devastated and lost when they realize the lover they've been exalting and serving for so long is not at all who they perceived them to be.



Your gifts as a lover are devotion, an ability to infuse sexuality with both ancient power and the sacred, and to see the soul, or the potential, in the ones you choose to love.  



There are three core challenges to this archetype of lover.


You open to much more than just your lover when making love, and this can get confusing or even devastating. You are opening to God or the sacred or the holy nature of woman when you make love. Your lover may or may not be able to access the state you access, and they may or may not be able to honor it the way it deserves. Many a priestess lover has emerged from a magnificent sexual connection that rocked her soul only to realize that her lover didn't actually share the experience, or simply is at a loss as to how to honor and really show up for sexuality that is so breathtaking. This can be devastating and deeply confusing. Remember—you are actually making love to your God when you take a lover. You can think of your lovers as chariots that God rides to meet you and make love to you, to open you, to catalyze you. The chariot may not always be aware of the power riding within it, but you can be, and you can put your worshipful nature where it belongs—at the feet of your God (or Love or your sense of the sacred) until or unless a lover proves themselves worthy of your unbridled devotion.

You exalt and hold reverence for life by your nature, and this gift for exaltation can give way to dangerous fantasies about your lovers if you are not careful. Many, many a priestess lover has experienced the absolute devastation and disorientation of realizing that the gorgeous being they've been pouring everything out for is actually narcissistic, dishonest, unfaithful, abusive, irresponsible, addicted, name it. It turns out that we priestess lovers hold a deep vow in our being to see and elevate the soul of others, their true nature, their potential. This is an unparalleled gift of healing in most cases, but it can be dangerous with a lover. If they have not yet recognized their own true nature and come to inhabit their own integrity, you will end up with a fractured sense of yourself and the relationship that can take some real time and care to recover from. You are not meant to simply serve, revere, and uphold your lover. You are meant to be met and held by the inner fire and strength of a lover who can stand in the face of power, surrender to it, and bow as deeply as you do.  

Lovemaking is worship for you, naturally. Treat it that way. This does not mean elaborate ceremony or intense "intention setting" every time, or even that lovemaking will always have a particular tone. Priestesses are full-spectrum women who like their lovemaking in all ways—from the hot and primal to the sensitive and refined. To treat your lovemaking as worship is to simply remember that you open deeply when you touch your erotic being, and this is truly a holy thing. We're way beyond the misguided demonization and dismissal of female sexuality that damaged our ancestresses for so many millennia. You are sacred ground and lovemaking is worship with the potential to bring direct connection to an experience of God/Love/Life that touches the heart of all things. So, you might simply light a candle, breathe together for a few moments to really connect and drop in before making love or, sure...yes, you might create a full-on ceremony to celebrate and anchor your intentions for sharing each other. Whatever it is, let it be simple, let it even be as simple as an inner silent prayer, or an offering of gratitude for the opportunity to touch the sacred. When you honor your reverent nature, you will find yourself more present, more free, and far more emotionally safe.  






There are three essential keys to thriving as this archetype of lover, and cultivating sexual intimacies that are emotionally safe, satisfying, and honoring for you.


DIFFERENTIATE BETWEEN THE PRIESTESS AND THE WOMAN. There is a way that women who have a healer or priestess archetype within them can over-identify with the archetype and lose touch with their own personal, simple human woman essence. It might feel amazing for a while to be so identified with such a powerful and beautiful archetype, but it is far better and more sustainable to stay balanced. Choose when you will show up as priestess or healer, and when you will not. Choose consciously whether or not you are willing (and truly able) to show up in service at that level, or if it isn't what would actually nourish you. In our context here, what's important to consider is that your lover should love and care for the woman you are, in all your flaws and needs and idiosyncrasies, not just the priestess. Lovers who are enamored of the priestess or healer in you, who just love being in that abundant, wonderful presence, will often prove unable to hold all of you. Better that they love the woman you are first, then come to know and honor you as a priestess. It is effortless for you to touch and share the sacred, but most likely far more difficult for you to touch and receive and share true, vulnerable intimacy, as you are, in all that you are.

CARE FOR YOUR SACRED NATURE. You can touch and embody extraordinary power, beauty and love. Know that for as powerful as you can feel at times, there will be an answering vulnerability. Always. You are opening, you are walking a rare and often forgotten sacred path. Learning to care for what you carry and what you are capable of is a lifelong discipline, and in order to fully thrive, you must commit to caring for your own sacred nature, in all that it asks, for all that it gives. You are sacred, not invincible. If you are a woman who naturally opens to the sacred, to exalted or highly open, even altered states, through lovemaking, then you are not simply a priestess lover. You are an embodiment of the priestess archetype, period, and it's showing up loud and clear in lovemaking because sexuality amplifies true nature. So, consider how you can care for the sacred presence that lives in you and moves through you, and devote yourself to that first, a lover second.



CHOOSE KNIGHTS AND KINGS (QUEENS), NOT PRINCES (PRINCESSES) AND PLAYERS. Here's the truth: your ability to open to the sacred in lovemaking means that you have already opened to the capacity of female sexuality in a huge way. Though you will be tempted and often conditioned to believe that your lovers are the ones who "take you there" (and you will often enter massive despair around the loss of a lover until life sends you yet another beautiful soul to worship with), what actually "takes you there" is your own nature, the capacity of female sexuality within you. It's time to grow out of the fantasy that there is a lover/soulmate who is all you ever dreamed, saying all the right things, soooo dreamy, soooo special. Consider growing into the reality that a lover who can hold you, meet you, honor you, and stay steady in the face of your passionate, ancient power and love is what you really need. Where you'll really thrive. The poetry, the immediate soul connection, the wow connections...maybe they'll become real, but don't rush in and fantasize them into reality. Let those epic moments evolve before you rush into sexual intimacy and end up bonded with someone who carries a beautiful soul but has't yet lived into it, and therefore will take you on a confusing, rollercoaster ride. Inside of a secure, loving, mature sexual intimacy you will be able to surrender and open to more and more of your own sacred nature, even if (and actually more likely if) it starts slow and steady and builds over time.



If all this makes sense to you and you want to take it further...



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There are six archetypes represented in this quiz, and all of us touch into many, if not all of them.  

I created the course "Sacred Needs and Your Sexual Archetypes" to take this topic deeper and to take women into all six archetypes.  It is available for FREE and exclusively with a pre-order of my first book, which is all about clearing past lovers.

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